We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
