im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
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i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
it's like heaven, but drunker
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
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Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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