There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...