6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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