just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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