He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats