That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.