I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
well, you know. whores of a feather.