My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck