If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize