I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?