Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Send us your Text From Last Night!
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?