Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?