Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Send us your Text From Last Night!
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.