Soap is not a condiment
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
