My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
her vagine was all disorganized.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
