Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Soap is not a condiment
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
wanna go halves on a baby?
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
