have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
