I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Send us your Text From Last Night!
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.