I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
