I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Send us your Text From Last Night!
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
