IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
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Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know