just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
