Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
