I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
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Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality