i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
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today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?