I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
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as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
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he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
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You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.