Texts From Last Night

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(903): View more from Texas

Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat

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(903): Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat http://tfl.nu/dy7q

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.

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(617): Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council. http://tfl.nu/w0zb

Replies (7) Good night (2268) Bad night (269)
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(905): View more from Ontario

Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.

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(905): Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass. http://tfl.nu/tco3

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(516): View more from New York

Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.

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(516): Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase. http://tfl.nu/afiw

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(209): View more from California

I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.

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(209): I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting. http://tfl.nu/cws8

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(949): View more from California

At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?

(714): View more from California

I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.

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(949): At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup? (714): I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive. http://tfl.nu/dqyc

Replies (4) Good night (1358) Bad night (209)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.

(1-413): View more from Massachusetts

That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.

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(413): She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker. (1-413): That's effing brilliant. We should start a business. http://tfl.nu/l4ou

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(823): View more from

Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?

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(823): Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning? http://tfl.nu/98fh

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(406): View more from Montana

Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor

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(406): Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor http://tfl.nu/fbq6

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food

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(978): i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food http://tfl.nu/q8kr

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(952): View more from Minnesota

Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?

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(952): Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number? http://tfl.nu/tc09

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(510): View more from California

I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay

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(510): I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay http://tfl.nu/zswj

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(907): View more from Alaska

You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now

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(907): You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now http://tfl.nu/vnkw

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(314): View more from Missouri

Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.

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(314): Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them. http://tfl.nu/ibul

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(812): View more from Indiana

Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.

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(812): Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad. http://tfl.nu/si1p

Replies (14) Good night (1340) Bad night (350) Order T-Shirt

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