Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???