He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".