There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize