i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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