Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there