He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Send us your Text From Last Night!
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Actions speak louder than pants.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.