I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive