I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.