Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.