This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!