You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
The beer is more important than you right now.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece