she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka