I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.