Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
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