I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
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would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.