You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
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im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
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CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
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i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!