apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
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And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
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All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
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Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker