remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!