The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.