fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.