Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
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She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I spit up blood this morning
His hands were made for my vagina.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow