He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel