considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving