if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
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At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
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sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.