no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"