Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I currently don't understand fingers.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.