My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...