Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.