My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Sorry about my life...
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with