I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life