Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...