I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?