He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.