I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
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I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it