I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.