Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here