I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.