My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
stop calling my apartment porn island.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
